Tuesday, November 29, 2011

ஃபிகரும் , ஃபிகர் சார்ந்த இடங்களும்


1.  எதிர் வீட்டு ஃபிகர் மாடில துணி காயப்போடும்போது  சரியாத்தெரியாம முகம்தான். ஹி ஹி ) அவஸ்தைப்பட்டேன்..இப்போ அடுத்த தெரு அகிலா கூட அம்சமா தெரியறா... தாங்க்ஸ் டூ வாசன் ஐ கேர்...
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2.  ஒரு ஃபிகரு 60 கிலோ வெயிட் இருந்தாலும் ஈசியா தூக்கிட முடியுது..ஆனா 14 கிலோ 400 கிராம் வெயிட் உள்ள கேஸ் சிலிண்டரைத்தூக்க முடியறதில்லை..ரொம்ப சிரமமா இருக்கு.. அது ஏன்?

ஹி ஹி .. அது வாலிப வயசு...

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3.மேரேஜ் லைஃப்-ங்கறது பார்க்ல வாக்கிங்க் போறது மாதிரி..செம ஜாலி...

எனக்கென்னவோ ஜூராசிக் பார்க் மாதிரி தோணுது...

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4. ஒரு ஃபிகரை கரெக்ட் பண்ண 4 டிப்ஸ்

1.ரப்பர்   .2 . பென்சில்.  3. ஸ்கேல்.  4.  பேப்பர்.

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Mosquito Bites Pictures: Photos & Images of Mosquitoes
5.கொசு வீட்டுக்கு வராம இருக்க என்ன செய்யனும்?

1. வீட்டு அட்ரசை தப்பா குடுத்திடனும்.

2.வீட்டை சுத்தி முள் செடியை நடனும்.

3.கொசுவை திருப்பி கடிக்கனும்.

4.கொசு வர்ற நேரம் பார்த்து போலீஸ்க்கு இன்ஃபார்ம் பண்ணி கொசுவை ஜெயில்ல போடனும்.

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6. என் மனைவி சீரியலுக்கு அடிக்ட் ஆகிட்டா.. 

நீங்க..?

வேலைக்காரிக்கு அடிக்ட் ஆகிட்டேன்.

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7. அப்பா.. காலேஜ்ல என் கூட படிக்கற பரிமளா கூட எனக்கு கெமிஸ்ட்ரி ஒர்க் அவுட் ஆகிடுச்சு..

பிஸிக்கலா எந்த டச்சும் வெச்சுக்காதே.. மீறினா பயலாஜிக்கலா பிராப்ளம் வரும்போது மாட்டிப்பே..

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8 ஏண்டா... எவ்ளவ் தைரியம் இருந்தா டீச்சருக்கே லவ் லெட்டர் குடுத்திருப்பே..அவங்க உனக்கு அம்மா முறை ஆகுதுடா...

சாரி டாடி.. அவங்க உன் ஆள்னு எனக்குத்தெரியாது.... தெரிஞ்சிருந்தா இப்படி ஊடால பூந்திருக்க மாட்டேன்.

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9.தலைவரே.. காகித உற்பத்தில இந்தியாவுலயே நாம 2வது இடமாமே...எப்படி?

ஆளாளுக்கு டெய்லி அறிக்கை விடறாங்களே.. அதான்.

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10. தலைவரே.. நில பேர ஊழல்ல உங்களுக்கு சம்பந்தமில்லைன்னு எப்படி சொல்றீங்க?

நாம எந்தக்காலத்துல பேரம் பேசி இருக்கோம்..?வளைச்சுப்போடறதுன்னு முடிவு பண்ணீட்டா கட்டப்பஞ்சாயத்துதான்..

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Free Online Jokes


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Short Call
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes. “What is the matter today?” asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.” “I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Banta Singh.


 
# 5
Murdered English
Here are examples of some charming misprints. In Pune Cantonment they have a separate mess for officers of the Intelligence Bureau. The signboard reads “Intelligence Mess”. Again in Pune, a devout truck driver has printed behind his vehicle: “God is grate.” Another warning overtakes “Horn Blow”. And a butcher advertises his wares as “Farash meet of Pork sold here”. The best is the signboard on a bakery: “Bakery Number One, Dilruba & Sons, The biggest loafers in town”.


 
# 6
Look Like Yourself
Seen outside a barber’s saloon near a bus stop is the following message: “Visit immediately, no time waste Instant Beauty Saloon Special visiting Hours from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. If you are a passenger alighting from buses in the evening hours then walk straight into our saloon. We make you up-to-date so that your wife and children recognize you without difficulty! Preferable: A copy of your original photograph for matching!”


 
# 7
Small Time Thief
A boy was caught stealing a watch from a shop. He was taken to a police station and put in a lock-up. A hardened criminal lodged there showed some sympathy and said, “You are wasting time on small items. Why don’t you rob a bank?” The boy replied, “By the time I leave school, all the banks are closed”.


 
# 8
Suspense Story
Ramesh asked his classmates, “Do you know how to keep a bewakoof (dunce) in suspense. “No, you tell me.” “I’ll tell you another day.”


 
# 9
Prayer, Counter-prayer
Banta Singh had a bitter quarrel with his wife. In his anger he prayed loudly “Hey Bhagwan! Mujhe uttha ley – Lord take me away from this world.”
Mrs. Banta Singh retaliated: “Hey Bhagwan! Mujhe uttha ley.”
Banta Singh quickly amended his prayer: “Hey Bhagwan! Tu Iski sun ley – O Lord, grant her prayer.”


 
# 10
Telephone Call
Once a doctor got a telephone call in the middle of night. The caller sounded very excited. “Doctor, please come at once. My wife is in great pain and I am sure it is appendicitis,” he said. The doctor assured him that there was no need to panic. “I will come in the morning.” The man protested, “But doctor, my wife is really serious.” The doctor replied, “I took out your wife’s appendix two years ago. She can’t have another. The caller protested, “That is alright doctor, but now I have got another wife.”


 
# 11
Auto Lingo
A Sardarji newly arrived in England, brought a car before he picked up the language or rules of the road. One day while driving in the countryside his car skidded off the road and landed in a ditch. Much as he tried, he could not get it move forward or backward. An Englishman passing-by who came to help him asked, “What’s the matter, mate?” The Sardarji replied in his best English, “My car garhey mein phasing. Not hilling aggaey, not hilling picchey, only horn pee-pe karing.”


 
# 12
Fouled Proposal
Banta fell in love with a college girl but did not know how to propose marriage to her. After much thinking he asked, “Sujata, would you like to be the mother of my children?” Sujata replied, “Why not? How many you have?”


 
# 13

When God created the world, he could not help boasting to Brahma of the special favors he had bestowed on India. “I gave it the highest mountains and broadest rivers in the world; I gave it coal, gold and diamond mines. I gave it the best of everything.” “Was it fair to give one country so much wealth?” asked Brahma. “You should see the kind of people I put in India. They will waste everything I gave them.”

Free Tamil SMS Jokes Online



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Machan enga street dog kitta Tigernu sonna vaala aatudu, jimmy nu sona thalaya atudu athu enna machan un pera sonna mattum "vekka paduthu" Ennamo nadakuthu.
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while Veerapandia kattabomman having sex with his wife, what was the slogan he might have told? "vellaiyane Veleyeru".
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More fun at HosurOnline.Com
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Oru kaakkkaa oru auntyoda Brava thoodittu poi marathu melaVachirudhu, Aunty: Brava keela podu. Kaakkaa: Ayyo ithu deela poduradu illa mela podradu! .
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Son: Amma appavoda vaieru yen perusa irukku. MOM: Vaithulla kutti yaanai irukku. SON; Athanaa nethu kulikum pothu keela tumbbikai thonguchu!! MOM: ......~!!!
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English master pant zip poda marandhutaar. Girls sirichanga. Master (situation puriyama): Ippadi sirichittey irundheenga, Veliye nika vechuruven.
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More fun at HosurOnline.Com
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while Veerapandia kattabomman having sex with his wife, what was the slogan he might have told? \"vellaiyane Veleyeru\".
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Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
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English master pant zip poda marandhutaar. Girls sirichanga. Master (situation puriyama): Ippadi sirichittey irundheenga, Veliye nika vechuruven
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Thondar 1 "Thalaivar en ethirkatchi thaan itharkku kaaranamnu choldraar" Thondar 2 "Avarukku kuzanthai piranthirukkunnu chonnEn"
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It is said that inzamam don't understand english. Once commentator asked, "Hay inzi your wife had a baby last week, is this true?". Inzi said, "Bismillah HirRahman Raheem first of all i thanks to Allah and then credit goes to all boys, they really worked hard especially afridi done very well. If they continue we can have another chance.
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Boy to girl "Sit on my lap, will will use the first thing that pops up"
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Girl says: I am playing tabla; Man turns over and says I like girls playing flute.
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